Personal, Reflective Essay

Here was the essay I submitted for the program - Thank you to Manks and Pinki for helping me with it!!!!

Teaching for Harmony

In June 2005, I resigned my position at Genentech, the company that was declared by Fortune magazine to be the best company to work for in America, and headed to India for some “soul-searching”. Through this “soul-searching”, my dream of teaching and engaging with children and youth has reemerged. In the past 3 years, I have gone from graduating with a degree in the expanding and lucrative field of bioengineering to volunteering with a non-profit organization called Society of Integrated Development of Himalayas (SIDH). SIDH is an organization that is dedicated to bringing relevant, holistic education to the villagers of the Jaunpur region in Uttaranchal Pradesh that will enable these students to lead happy and meaningful lives. After my experiences in India and working with SIDH, I come with a broader global perspective, an inner fire to invigorate change to current unsustainable systems, a theoretical understanding of possible solutions, experience working in challenging and diverse classroom environments, refined skills in motivation and leadership, and an open-mind and desire to understand all the aspects of what makes an effective teacher.

In the human quest for happiness and harmony, teaching is my means to achieving this. As I explored India, I visited different non-governmental organizations working in the education discipline and other areas, learned the theory and the technique of Vipassana meditation at a 10-day camp, was introduced to the philosophy of Jeevan Vidya (knowledge for life), engaged with people who’s lives are being uprooted by “development”, learned about various Indian thinkers, and met inspiring people who have dedicated their lives to bringing harmony into this world. Through all of this, I have come to the premise that all people have a desire to be continually happy. Some people try to make lots of money, other people try to achieve a position of power, others try to help society. All of these people are doing what they think will make them happy based on their understanding of happiness. Most people do not seem to reach that unremitting happiness that they are seeking, because of a glitch in their understanding. For example, one may work towards positions of power because they believe this will bring them respect. Respect is a universal value that we all need to be happy. However, are people in power really respected, or is the respect only on the surface? Some people try to make more money, so they can have more luxuries that they believe will bring them their happiness. However, without harmonious, loving relationships with other human beings, those luxurious items will probably not help them out of their loneliness.

Where do all of these misunderstandings come from? Learning from my experience with Vipassana meditation and my basic understanding of the Jeevan Vidya philosophy, I am becoming more aware of the numerous influences around me. The media, the government, advertising, the “system”, our parents (who grew up with their own conditioning), our religion, and our own education system are all constantly conditioning my ideas on what will bring me happiness. A life without conditioning may not be possible, but a life being aware of my environmental influences is possible. As I free my mind and become aware, I am able to perceive that harmony is what will ultimately lead me to continual happiness. This harmony includes harmony with myself, family, society, and nature. Finally, this brings about the understanding that my happiness intrinsically depends on an awareness and understanding of myself; of my relations with every other human being; and of a sustainable, environmentally friendly society. Teaching allows me to work towards a happy, harmonious life in all of these different facets.

I want to teach because the times that I have felt the most fulfilled are when I have been working with children and youth. After exploring India and myself for five months, I knew that I wanted to pursuit a life devoted to education of youth. Back in August, I was visiting an orphanage called the Sri Ram Ashram near Haridwar. The Ashram also runs a school there for 500 students. I was appalled by the Indian education system that seems to be based mostly on rote memorization and standardized exams, and where teachers seem to be absent 40% of the time. More importantly, I treasured the challenge to step in and become a substitute teacher for a few days in a Hindi-medium school, when my Hindi was barely functional (I first learned Hindi in college.). At that moment, I realized that as a teacher, I have 30 developing human minds depending on me. I have the power to draw out genuine feelings, thoughts, and questions, but I also have the opposite power of dulling those minds. The word “educate” has its roots in a Latin word meaning to “draw out”. In today’s schools, I feel education has often become the “filling of a pail” instead of a “drawing out”. The purpose of education, in my view, should be to develop those faculties that are already intrinsic in the student that will enable them to free their mind. Examples of these faculties include sharp observation skills that allow students to become aware of the reality around them, critical thinking skills that enable them to be able to identify and analyze the problems (disharmony), and the sensitivity and creativity to come up with sustainable solutions. Depending on the drive and the inner fire of the teacher, he/she will either only “fill up” the student with knowledge from books and dull his/her mind, or will engage the student to question the world around him/her and search for answers.

That inner fire continued to develop in me as my exploration continued. Finally, it led me to the decision to volunteer at SIDH.

I have learned a lot being at SIDH, and many of my personal values and views on education have come into concrete formulation as a result of my experiences here. For over a month, now, I have been teaching English at the Hindi-medium school SIDH runs for sixth through tenth graders. Most of the children speak Jaunpuri at home, while some speak Hindi. Most are Hindu, while some are Muslim. Some are part of families that live off the land as farmers, while others own stores. The challenge facing me is immense. Firstly, I do not share their cultural or linguistic background. Second, each of their situations is different. Third, I have never been trained as a teacher. Lastly, English is very distant from their actual lives, and they also have preconceived notions that English is difficult and only for the “educated.” However, when I stepped into the classroom, and saw the 30 faces looking at me, I was determined to overcome these challenges of teaching. I knew that I was in my niche.

Over the last month, I have realized that each student must be treated as an individual, instead of the entire class being treated as a herd. I think many times in today’s school system, the teacher is teaching a class, but does not realize that that class consists of distinct individuals. As I go through this understanding process, I have seen that many times during class I make general statements, which I think apply to all of my students. For example, after I administered the same test twice in a four-day period, I said, “Those of you that did not improve, clearly do not think it is important to learn English, and did not put in any effort.” However, I failed to take into account that some of these students do not have time to study at home. They walk for two hours to get back home, and then must help with housework and work on the farm. On the other hand, the students that live in the nearby town go home, have no responsibilities, and have plenty of time to study. Each individual must be understood and given attention according to his/her circumstance. This is of utmost importance in a culturally and linguistically diverse class. I saw the significance of this and am attempting to form relations with students and understand their upbringing and home situations.

Making the subject of English relevant to their lives and helping them overcome their “fear” of English are other challenges. My first step was to discuss and come to the understanding with the students that English was just a language, no different from their local dialect of Jaunpuri, or Hindi. I continued the discussion with them and together we discovered that due to historical occurrences, English has spread into use all over the world, and therefore could be of importance to them. Along with the discussion, we conducted an activity as well. In class, they came up with many English words such as “computer”, “television”, “pants”, etc. that do not have equivalents in Hindi or Jaunpuri. When I asked them to think of words in Jaunpuri that had no English equivalent, at first, they were stumped. However, soon, the words came pouring out and their eyes lit up. Some examples are unkater (meaning a tree that has not been cut) and kandulo (a special container for chapatis – unleavened bread). Their homework was to go home and come up with five more words that only existed in Jaunpuri. In this way, their education was made relevant to their life at home, as they engaged with their parents and elders to come up with these words.

In today’s education, I think that students do not usually see the relevance of the subject material taught at school. Either the subject material may actually be irrelevant to their lives, or the teacher does not explore the relevance of the material properly with the students. Both of these situations must be addressed. To tackle situations such as these, I want to be in a classroom teaching and to be involved with education, taking advantage of my understanding and of various skills.

First, there are my leadership skills. A teacher is a leader in the classroom, and also should be a leader in the community. When I was a student at UCLA, I was the director of the Indian Student Union, an organization of over 350 members and a staff of 14. We were one of the most active student organizations on campus. I learned that to lead one must listen, understand, and discuss before coming to decisions. There were a few times when I made a unilateral decision and told the staff what they had to do. I had already reasoned to myself why that decision was the right one. However, because I did not go through the reasoning and discussion with the rest of the staff, the decision seemed to be ordered upon them. Their respect for me diminished and they were not as dedicated to their task. I realize that this same situation plays out in a classroom setting. If an issue is discussed in the open and a decision is reached upon, then that decision has more value because each student was a part of its formation. The second integral quality of a leader that I place emphasis on is to lead by example. The teacher must be constantly trying to improve his/her methods and further his/her understanding. The student seeing the effort put in by the teacher will naturally be influenced by it. I know that I will constantly be striving to “walk the walk”, as I am committed life-long to my self-development, and because I care. I have resolved only to get involved with work that I am passionate about. My experience at Genentech taught me that if I am involved in work that I am not passionate about, my best efforts will not come out, and I will not be happy. I have now left that behind. Teaching, education, and human relationships are things I deeply care about. Because of this, my relentless effort is not a question.

Another skill that that will be important for me in tackling the challenge of teaching is my ability to understand and convey concepts, especially in math and science, to others. I have an engineering degree, and in high school, the subjects that I performed best in were math and science. In high school and college, I tutored others in mathematics and continually thought of new ways to teach different concepts. It takes someone with ingenuity to make these subjects interesting and relevant, and this quality is what I bring to the table.

Finally, in order to understand and manage a diverse classroom, one must come in with a broad perspective. Over the years and through my varied experiences, I believe that I have developed an open-mindedness that is essential to teaching. I cannot say that I no longer look at the world through various frameworks, but I am constantly attempting to be aware of the framework that I am looking through. This awareness is the first step in getting rid of the framework altogether.

One framework that I believe schools have perpetuated is to constantly look outwards and learn about the world “out there”. However, where is the space for a student to study, learn about, and understand one’s self and what is going on “in here”? A common fear may be that such a process inevitably delves into religion. However, this easily can be done in a secular way. Self-reflection, self-awareness, and self-development are universal concepts that can be discussed in a classroom. J. Krishnamurti, a famous philosopher of recent times, pointed out, “Why are so we surprised that there is so much chaos in the world? Just look at the chaos within each of us. We must first bring order and clarity in our inner world, before we can bring order to the outer world.” I do not believe today’s schools create those spaces for students to explore their inner beings.

Another framework that is used by schools is that of categorization - for example, the categorization of subjects - math, science, history, English, etc. To understand various concepts, categorizing is necessary, but it must be explained that categorization is just a learning tool, and not an end. There should be work done on further integrating the various subjects. The framework of compartmentalization seems to carry on for the students through adulthood, where they put their career, family life, their religious life, and social life in different categories. Instead of being one whole, the individual begins to have many different, and sometimes conflicting, dimensions. One can see the cultural difference in India, where for people who live in the rural areas, work, play, family, and religion are all one.

A few weeks ago when I went on to Google searching for quality teaching credential programs, I came across The New College, and, immediately thought it to be the most harmonious match for me. At New College, I hope to continue to refine my views on what quality education is. I want to learn how to teach a class of thirty, but still take into account the diversity and individuality of each student. I expect to develop the ability to create a classroom culture where students are encouraged and feel comfortable expressing their genuine thoughts, feelings, and questions. I would like to explore the real relevance of all the subject material in the students’ lives, now or in the future. Additionally, I hope to learn and practice various methods of teaching different subjects in a relevant, interesting, thought-provoking, and curiosity-developing manner.

The bottom line is that teaching is real. There are students and teachers, and real human relations between the two. There is a mutual exploration of the self and the world. There is a desire to effect change in the world and to bring greater harmony to the world. To me, teaching is not a career, but a life-style.

Plans for next 2 months

Well... for the next couple of months, here is what I am planning to do: Tomorrow, the entire SIDH family is headed for a 3-day "retreat" at an ashram in the middle of the forest... near Haridwar. There will be fun and games (we have dandias.. an I'm going to teach everyone raas/garba!), but there will also be some serious introspection, and planning going on. After tha, I will continue to teach in the various grades at SIDH, especially focusing on the 10th class. There are many volunteers that are arriving to SIDH over the next couple months (4 boys from a technical college in Gandhinagar, 2 girls from Delhi, and another American girl just came in yesterday). It's going to be one of my responsibilities to kind of take these volunteers under my wings. A lot of times it just takes a few weeks getting used to the place and understanding the philosophy behind SIDH, that by the time all this understood, it's time for the volunteers to go home.

So, one of the main projects that I and the volunteers will probably be working on is this concept of "Education tourism" (or Eco-tourism, service tourism, responsible toursim... the name hasn't been decided yet). There are tourists in this area because the hill station of Mussoorie is here. Usually, the relation of tourists and locals is not a very enriching one. Villagers look to profit off tourists.... tourists leave these places of natural beauty looking like a mess. Neither understands each other. The idea of "Education tourism" is for mutual learning and understanding to take place, while being fun for the tourist (trekking, getting to know local communities, visiting different villages, etc.), and profitable for the villagers (get paid to house and feed tourists). They have a similar program that Sampat and I were consumers of in Ladakh -- village homestay. And, we learned that there are some dangers to the concept... but... overall... it's going to be starting from scratch... and I think will be pretty interesting.

Also, there is a ggroup of youth coming from Mumbai in May for a one-week camp/workshop... so, I am helping out with the planning of that. This concept of youth camps for city kids (Dehradun, Delhi, Mumbai) is also something SIDH is thinking about doing on a regular base... so, at some point, I may get involved with that. I'm all about camps, and planning events, and all that good stuff!! haha...

Also, there has been a retired American teacher here, Jay Davidson, and I may organize a workshop with him for the teachers on "multiple intelligences".

ALSO, I have started writing an article on "The Use of Fear in Schools", but, for now... that may be on the back-burner.. for later when I have time.

From April 9-16th, there is a Jeevan Vidya shibhir here, so I will be attending that... and there is another Jeevan Vidya shibhir in June which is English, and is going to be taught by Ganesh-ji... who's supposed to be a real bad-ass.... so, for the better part of those weeks, I'll be in the shivir.

Back to Paldi

March 22

Pawanji asks me... do you want to come with my to Paldi, there's a small function there, only for a day? I jump on the opportunity.

Paldi is the village, about 2 hours North of Delhi, that Sampat an I visited back in December. Ran Singh Arya lives there, and that's who we were visiting back in December. I stayed there for about 7-8 days, and got to know some of the people there, and all... so I was exciting to go back. And, I'd be in the car with Pawanji for a long while... so, we'd really get an opportunity to chance about various opportunities at SIDH, about education in general, about Jeevan Vidya, etc.

On the car ride... I found out that the function was being held because Dharampal-ji, a famous Gandhian and Indian historian, was going to be there. We had been introduced to Dharampal's work the first time we came to SIDH, with his book Rediscovering India, and later came across his book again when we visited Jay, who was working with infinityfoundation. Dharmpal's main work has ben redifining the history of India, especially uncovering the myths that were a result of the British rule. Often going back into the British documents, themselves, he goes on to show that India wasn't as "backwards" as the British made it out to be. It had its own systems that were often superior to those of the West... however, the British, through various methods broke down those systems at their roots - because they didn't understand them and to be able to rule India.

Dharampal-ji is now 85... but once again, for an old man.... a lot of fire in his voice. He was also walking around on his own, and seemed in good health. During the small function, he didn't speak much... but a common theme was that India's minds are still colonized. He says Indians must understand who they are, what their history is, etc... before making decisions. In an interview a few years back, Dharampal says, "What is great about India?...we need to understand this...the greatness of this country is that the ordinary people in this country have a certain understanding, that everything in nature is connected...and they have built their lives around this understanding...this is the greatness of this country."

I conversed with him a little bit... he knows about Swadhyay and Dadaji... so, we talked about that for a little bit.

Although I was in the gaam for less than 24 hours.... it was good times... a warm feeling! This little girl that lives in the same house that I had stayed at... comes running up to me... "Raj bhai... raj bhai..." I try to remember her name... try... try... nothing. The little girl of 4 has a better memory than I do. Haha.. it's all good.

The car rides with Pawan-ji were good. I really like what these people are all about... and so, even Pawan-ji wants to know if I'm down for something long-term...... there are visions of starting a B.Ed. program (teacher credential program).... and there are also visions of starting a completely independent residential school somewhere in India. And that would start from scratch... getting people on board... buying land... etc. In India, all schools are associated with some "board"... either the state's education board or the country's education board... and very few select schools are associated with some international boards. Basically... each of these boards has exams that the students must follow to pass on to the next grade. When they graduate school, they get a certificate from that particular board.... some colleges would consider some boards "better" than others. Bottom line is that these schools must teach to these "Board Exams" so the students can pass the exam and move on to the next grade.

There school currently run at SIDH is trying to bring relevant, holistic education to its students, but it's often limited by having to teach towards these board exams, the expectations of the parents on what a school should be, and the conditioning of the teachers (who are also developing and learning in the process.)

There are other alternate education schools in India, including a Krishnamurti school and an Aurobindo school.... but, Pawanji says that even these have been limited by having to teach towards boards.

Basically... these exams are to get you to college to get you a job... the standard village to city to abroad series.

So, the idea is to start a school that basically says "We're just going to go completely against the grain, and screw the boards."

So, maybe, over the next few months... the first seeds of this idea can be planted....

Holi Hai!!!!!

March 13-16

I'm writing this much after the fact... so, there won't really be the same emotion and feeling in it.

For Holi, the school at SIDH was closed for two days, so a lot of the teachers went home, and I decided to go home with Rajesh, the history and geography teacher. He lives near Rishikesh in a village called Amitgram (one of its many name....). His father is a great Gandhian of this district, but now is quite old, and due to a cataract operation gone wrong, he can no longer see. His name is Kameshwar Bahuguna... he was very much involved with Sevagram (Gandhiji's Ashram in Wardha) for many years, and also spent 3-4 years with Vinoba Bhave. So, the main two reasons I was going was to meet Kameshwar-ji and talk to him, and also to celebrate Holi in the village!!!!

So, when I got there, I soon got introduced to Kameshwar-ji. At first, he said a quick hello, but didn't pay me much attention. However, the longer I stayed there, the more and more we got into conversations. And even though he is old, can no longer see, you can still hear the passion and drive in his voice. His main passion is education, as well, and through his life, he had conducted various experiments with Gandhian education models... I told him I've read Gandhi, but am not too familiar with what he thought about education. So, he told me to read more. =) We ended up having many conversations... althought I don't remember too much of the substance of them.... I do remember the warmness I felt... and his passion. He gave me all sorts of contacts all over India of people and work that I MUST see if I'm seriously interested in education.

Then... there was Holi! So, at first... the two kids in the house, Rajesh's nephew and niece, were at even before breakfast! The colors were flying... I was spared as I was the "guest", and just got a "Holi chandlo". Soon after breakfast, Rajesh went to go see a couple of his friends... asked if I wanted to come, and I declined. I stepped outside... and enjoyed the chaos! Kids running thoughout the village... with color, water, the works!!! Then, slowly... everyone started getting into.... even the Dadi was making her rounds in the village and when she came back before lunch... she has a nice spattering of red, blue, green, and yellow all over her and sari.... =) I was enjoying watching... but, I kept thinking, "man, imagine if I actually lived in this village... and had my buddies here....." Just then, the "bhabhi" that lived across the street says, "The 'bhai' in your house is still clean...." And all of a sudden, I have about 5 kids, 6 aunties, and a dadi coming at me.... ready to smother me in colors and water!!!! Haha.. let the fun begin! We all ended up playing for another hour or so... and then immediately... people would just take baths and wash their clothes (outside... we're in the gaam).

Overall... a great time for my first Holi in India!!!!

BRUINS, BABY!!!!

Whoa baby... so, I was following the Bruins-Zags game on internet a little bit during the first half. Then, I followed it until about 6 minutes left in the second half... UCLA was still down about 10. Then, the next time I checked.... UCLA wins 73-71!!!! Chills ran through my body... I was reading the score over the internet... but I felt like I was at the game, or something! I definitely am thinking about all my fellow Bruins out there... Mit, Harleen, Nim, Roomie, AP, Ronak, Amol, Sampat, Rosh, Shinde, Kosh, Jigs... etc. etc..... and the euphoria that they must be feeling!

Go Bruins baby.... Farmar... Afflalo...!

haha... now back to India...

Jeevan Vidya Intro

Jeevan Vidya... it's not really a philosophy... it is kind of... and I don't think it's exactly like Buddhism. It basically puts out this whole proposal of Existence. And, then, observe yourself and the world around you... and you'll start to come to an understanding, and check it with the proposal.

The basics are - Everyone person wants to be happy/have harmony/be fulfilled/content (whatever you want to call it). So, everything we do, in some way or another, we are trying to achieve this happiness. But, why aren't we always happy? The actions that we undertake to bring us happiness are based on our understanding. So, if there is a glich in our understanding, then the result of the action will not bring us the happiness we desired. So, the main work has to be done on our understanding. If one takes a look at any of the problems that one has, that is an obstacle to harmony/happiness than they will find that the root of each of these problems is a lack of understanding, somewhere.

So, then, it goes into the understanding of what? Of everything... what's everything? Well, there's me, and then there's everything else. So, understanding the "I" and understanding everything else in "Existence" - which consists of I, my family, society, and nature. And the relationship btwn each of these.

It goes on to give a proposal to the Reality of all these things.

One thing that stands out for me is in the understanding of the "I"... understanding the difference btwn. "believing" something and "knowing" something. Almost EVERYTHING we live by is our beliefs... and this is where differences arise. Also, we have to closely examine where these beliefs come from... they come from some type of conditioning or memories.... books, TV, parents, education, media, alternate media, prior memories, etc. "Knowing" something is the ability to naturally accept something and is universal for everyone. "Knowing" is knowing that when one is thirsty, water will quench their thirst. "Believing" is that with this meal, a soda would jive better. "Knowing" is knowing that everyone wants to be happy/ fulfilled/ in harmony/ content. "Believing" is I need x amount of money to be happy.

It goes on... and in more detail... which I haven't really even delved into too much. For now, I'm sticking with the basics.

And I think... the process in this... and in Vipassana... and according to Krishnamurti.... is developing the ability of PURE OBSERVATION. What is pure observation? The ability to observe with all our senses... without any preconceived notions, prejudices, conditioning, memories, etc. clouding our vision. With this, the separation of believing and knowing becomes clearer. Is it possible? I don't know....

Me, India, and Education

Again.. the following excerpt is from an email that I wrote... most of it repeats stuff that I've said in various places in the blog:

It's good to be here... but I'm trying to get some real projects that I can be responsible for, WHILE I also observe and learn.... but it's been difficult actually getting my hands on anything concrete, yet.

But, still... there's just so much uncertainty about what I'm doing with myself, and my future... that it's difficult for me to maintain a peace-of-mind... although, it's there ... off-and-on.

Sometimes... there's this urge - man, I need to do something now... there's so much crap going on in the world, in India... i want to get involved to fight against it. Then, every-now-and-then, there's this urge to return to my peaceful suburbian existence back in California.

But, overall... I feel alright here... =)

The one thing I do know... is that my future path doesn't involve very much money, nor do I care much for the green stuff (or multi-colored stuff here in India)... as long as I got food, shelter, water, and clothing... I'm good to go.

What are my thoughts bout India??? My thoughts are that each nation much follow its own path, just as each individual must.... yet India continues trying to trace the steps of the West (on the macro scale - politically and economically). India is a land of 1 billion people with 70% still living in villages. It has a higher percentage of farmable land than any country of the world, of significant size. It's in its best interest to maintain the sustainability of its villages... not sell-out its villages to multi-national corps and more comforts for the wealthy and powerful living in the cities. India post-independence... the "main-stream" systems in place are ruled by fear... politicians use fear to control, police use fear to control, and the school systems use fear to control. HOWEVER, there's a WHOLE nother world to India... that is only seen by those who seek it... and that's the India of complete freedom... complete freedom to do whatever you want... freedom to become a sadhu, freedom to start an ashram, freedom to get into whatever field you wish to, freedom to conduct whatever experiment you want to experiment, freedom to become a monk, etc. There's a freedom to think and believe whatever you want to believe... the freedome to seek Truth... and I think that's inherent in the "Indian" being... not a result of any political policy, any system, etc....

Education... my views... I don't know... there's practicality... and then, there's what the world needs... there's trying to acheice Truth. What's the goal of education -- teaching a child that x^10/x^4 reduces to x^6??? Or enabling a child to see the Reality of the world today... opening up the child's eyes to the world around him? For now... this is what I think the goal of education should be - I think the main idea should be to develop those skills, abilities, faculties of a child that will enable them to FREE their mind. Enable them to observe and learn on their own, think on their own, and through this to really get a vision of what Reality is.

What does it mean to "free" one's mind? It means to be able to be constantly aware of the conditioning that is bombarding our minds - from advertisements, to media, to even parents, and education! Once we are cleared of all this conditioning, we'll begin seeing the Reality of the world around us. (These skills of observation and awareness can be brought about through education) Once one realizes their relation with all human beings and with all of nature, they'll begin to care about the disorder of the world. (Sensitivity, the reality of our relationships with each other and with nature can be brought about through education) Once Reality is seen, once the disorder of the world is realized, one can then creatively come to solutions. (Creativity and problem solving can be brought about through education).

Or... we can just come up with better methods to teach math, science, english, history, geography, etc.. and just be happy with that. =) (sarcasm) I'm not knocking it... because I think these "better methods" are developing VARIOUS faculties of the mind of the child - multiple intelligences, different ways of learning, etc..... but, there's still something missing. Maybe it's the actual content that needs to be changed? Maybe it is the methodology... maybe we have to teach through things that are more REAL... not books, workbooks, chalkboards, toys, etc.

I don't know.... this is where I'm at right now.

Then, there's another side of me that says.. maybe I need to go teach somewhere for a year or two.... soo, I really know what it's all about....

go Bruins

Go Bruins.

Globalization = Exploitation ?

I wrote the following ideas and thoughts down in my journal towards the end of November.

There’s exploitation in this world. And it is driven by the consumerism. The culture that is marketed by the large companies, and that we now take as a “given”.

You can see a previous blog entry and find examples… Coca-Cola, prawn farming, etc.

Now, there are various angles one can attempt to tackle this problem. One is from “bottom” up… educate the villagers in a local context about the situation of the world today, and possible decisions that they will have to make. They must be educated on what exactly is going on and has been going on in their locality, or localities LIKE theirs, what possibly could happen in their locality… AND how this ties in with GLOBALIZATION, CAPITALISM, etc. When the Coca-Cola factory was built, do you think the villagers knew that all their ground-water was going to be used up? Two is a dialogue with the decision-makers of huge corporations like Coca-Cola… and see if a dose of humanism works (probably not). Three is the “top” down approach. Consumers have to put pressure on huge corporations. If consumers stop buying products and put real pressure, then corporations have to change their ways.

For the “top” down approach, as well, education is the key. People just aren’t aware of what’s going on. Mainstream media doesn’t share these stories because they are often controlled by a lot of these large corporations as well.

There needs to be people that are doing research and work on each of the different issues/companies/products (prawn farming, sweat shops, Coca-Cola, etc.), and conduct studies in ALL parts of the world that this is occurring. The opposing point-of-view, that of the company’s, must be listened to and understood as well… if, for nothing else, to formulate stronger arguments. Some group then needs to collaborate the individual efforts of people researching individual products and/or companies, and then publish it, and get the word out. At least people would be more aware… maybe a 9-11 type documentary?

Some sort of list of products (clothes, foods, appliances, raw materials, etc.), and what the REAL costs of these products are needs to be created. When someone buys a shirt at Macy’s, they should know all the REAL human costs of that shirt, and make an educated decision on whether to buy it or not.

Hopefully, naturally… this awakening would be SO broad and effect so many industries that people will begin to realize that the entire base of today’s capitalism is FALSE (limited resources – unlimited desires), UNSUSTAINABLE, and is having negative effects on nature, people in other parts of the world, our minds (conditioning through advertising), etc. We are not in competition for a limited amount of resources, and, therefore, do not have to grab as much as we can. By doing this for our own security and “happiness”, we are not leaving enough for others... we’re grabbing their share, as well. Resources are abundant for everyone and naturally recycle if we don’t mess with their cycles, and our needs ARE limited. Many people have shown that there is plenty of food in the world for everyone, plenty of resources from everyone – but the problem is in the systems we currently live by... the systems that determine the distribution of these goods. In the name of “capitalism”, we are paying little attention to the destruction of our resources.

And, I really think that the U.S. could be the MAJOR player in this movement… in this understanding – as there are a lot of people that ARE socially-minded and justice-minded, but right now, the power lies in the hand of those with $$$. However, in the U.S. and with the use of alternate mass media tools, such as the internet, where money isn’t an issue, an awakening can begin.

To have a global, united front (from top down, and bottom up) that has a vision of a more just, natural, and cooperative system of sustenance… and has the understanding of Gandhiji’s SATYAGRAHA – that would be incredibly powerful.

When you see small steps… such as the Coca Cola situation… “bottom” up, there have been massive protests here in India, and one factory was shut down in South India. “Top” down there have also been boycotts of Coca-Cola in the U.S. on this issue, for example at the University of Michigan. I begin thinking that there is a way…
All the information and research needs to be put together without propoganda, but with facts. The universal nature of this understanding… how any and all religions would support this understanding… needs to be clearly delineated. And also, there has be a think tank of minds from around the world to come up w/ a new method for distribution of goods – the problem may not be with capitalism… capitalism may work… but is must be an AWARE capitalism… a capitalism based in humanism… aware of society at large (world society), nature, and oneself.

Write me?

So, I’m finally in one place, and I’ll probably be here for a while… at LEAST a few months. I’m at this org. called SIDH (www.sidhsri.com), and it seems like an almost ideal situation for me.

The main reason for this blog is that since I will finally be in one place for a while, you can finally send me that letter (or birthday card... wink, wink) that you’ve been wanting to send me!

Here is the address:

SIDH Bodhigram
Kempty via Mussoorie 248179
Tehri, Garwal
Uttaranchal Pradesh, INDIA

Also, if you’re in India… this place is absolutely gorgeous (up in Himalayas), and the culture in this region is awesome – lots of song and dance, terrace farming on the mountains…. And the org. is doing some cool work, and I like their vision…. So, if you’re in India, let me know when you’re coming up here. =)

I'll get a phone number that you can call me at, soon.

Tenzin-ji

So, the same day I arrived at SIDH with my parents, this man by the name of Tenzin Rigzin also arrived. On first appearance, he looked like a Buddhist monk – wore red robes, seemed a bit to himself. I love getting to know the stories of people like this. Our first night together at SIDH, we had a long chat… and, whatever I remember of his story, I will tell it here:

His dad was in the military and was an engineer. Being in the military, he had to move the family around a lot. Tenzin was actually born in Baroda. They were a well-to-do family, and he went to these English-medium schools… where, basically, the kids were “made to export”. They were trained so they could get the best chance at those overseas jobs… or to study overseas. As Tenzin put it, his path was either an NRI (non-resident Indian) or NIR (non-Indian resident… working for some foreign company in India). As he was growing up, he was really good with electronics and would fix things around the house, and was a bit of a “whiz kid”. After finished school (12^th grade), he actually wanted to go study abroad in the U.S.A…. so, he applied to all the top-notch Ivy-leauge schools. Maybe a little overconfident… he didn’t get into any of them. He was shocked a bit at the rejections, and thought, “Next time, I’ll be in a situation where they can’t reject me.

As he was studying in 10^th, 11^th, 12^th… he saw how things were getting more cut-throat and competitive. Friends would be competing against each other and no one would have just “normal friend” conversations – everything was about math or exams, etc. All of this didn’t sit too well with him, as he saw all the back-stabbing, cheating, etc. involved. To go into engineering or science fields.. it’s really competitive out here. He decided that he didn’t want to study Engineering, like everyone expected him to. Instead, he wanted to study English.. Literature. He calls this the biggest bomb that he laid on his parents… because they were so sure that their little whiz kid would become an engineer, get a good job, make a lot of money.. and maybe even get the chance to go overseas! There ended up being a lot of tension and disappointment in the house. As his parents, they still supported him financially, during his studies.

So, he went to Delhi University, and was doing really well in school. His parents saw that he was doing really well… and got new aspirations… now, he could get a good gov’t. job with the civil service and be settled, and secure, etc. After finishing his B.A., he went on to get his M.A. at Jawarhal Nehru University… a top-notch school in Delhi that basically runs along the same lines as an American university… with more choices for the student, etc. There was a point that he was feeling guilty about using his parents’ money for his education… but he justified it to himself… only a couple more years, it’s okay. During these college years… he began getting used to living a very expensive and extravagant lifestyle. As he neared graduation, he began to worry about finding a job that would support his lifestyle.

He started working two jobs in Delhi – an editorial job, and some other job… but, even so, he couldn’t maintain his lifestyle. He decided to go back home to Hyderabad, where he found a marketing job, and, from his parents, he now received this new found respect from because he was an “earning man”. He was making a good amt. Of money, and didn’t have to spend on food & lodging because he ws living at home. But, he was also working long hours, 7 days a week, and didn’t even have time to spend the money that he was earning. Soon… things started to get to him again. Honesty has always been his knack… and he saw all the lies and dishonesty in the workplace. He’d be telling 10 lies a day, schmoozing w/ the boss, screening phone calls, etc.. just to get ahead… and he started seeing the reality of the whole “rat-race”. Previously, he had received a fellowship to continue his studies at IIT Delhi, so, at this time, he decided to leave his job and continue his studies. Tenzin wanted that extra time to ask the “whys” – time to reflect on what he was doing, why he was doing it, etc… and he never really saw the time nor the space to do this while working.

At IIT Delhi, he had this professor that would connect Gandhian thinking and spirituality w/ engineering topics… and this shook Tenzin up. – “What do these things have to do with science?” Tenzin grew up in an a-religious family, and since he was a child, he claimed that he was an atheist and was proud of it. He believed that spirituality, religion, and “all that” were for those that weren’t rational, that didn’t think clearly, that were confused and superstitious. But here.. he saw this professor that was confident, brillian, and definitely clear-minded… yet, he called himself a neo-Gandhian and connected spirituality with engineering? Along with this professor, Tenzin was also introduced to many strong personalities who were doing work outside the “system”, people that really seemed to be doing something of value with their life, and weren’t caught up in the “rat race”. He met these people through various clubs and orgs. on campus. While at IIT, he first was introduced to Jeevan Vidya… but at that point, he wasn’t ready to listen, as he just saw them as another club on campus. He didn’t pay much attention to them… but, overall, his interest in spirituality grew. He started reading various books that were in the IIT library. Partly because there were many books on Buddhism in the library & partly because Buddhism appeals to the rational mind, he started getting interested in it.

Through a club on campus, he got the chance to live for one month in a Tibetan Buddhist monastery in Dharamsala (where the Dalai Lama stays). As he was living there, he thought… “wow, this monastic life is pretty cool. It’s nott too strict, you can leave the monastery & do things for society… and you can focus on studies and have time to think at the monastery, etc.” He soon made up his mind to become a monk, and was ordained by the Dalai Lama into the order as a Tibetan Buddhist monk.

Even after becoming a monk… he was at the point of “what next?” He met a man (whose name I forgot…) that was an activist and, at the time, leading a “tree-huggers” movement to save forests from getting cut down. He was also involved in protesting the building of the Tehri Dam (see …). When Tenzin visited this site, he got involved in the protest movement as well… and ended up staying there for one year. He got caught up in it.. but, in the end, realized that this life of protests and all wasn’t for him. But, it was a good experience… the area was a very “tribal” area… he had to learn how to tough it out in the jungle.. no running water, no electricity, etc…. this was a far cry from his extravagant living style he enjoyed during his college days.

After this episode, again.. what next? He had heard of a large monastery just 10 k away from Benares. He decided to go check it out. At this point, he was living a very simple life-style and had only 3000 rps. In his bank account. He stayed at the guest house of this monastery for about a week… and started to worry a bit – “what now? These people aren’t going to let me stay in the guest-house forever.” He saw that the school needed an English and a computers teacher… so he went to the “principal” and told him his situation – “I have very little money… I can teach English or Computers, and in return all I would need is a room to stay in.” After a couple days, he got a letter saying that he was appointed as a temporary teacher and was to receive a 1700 rupee monthly salary. At this point – this was a huge sum of money to him, because he was used to living a very simple life. He didn’t know what to do w/ all the money. He didn’t believe in saving money… as who knows what nefarious things the bank is doing with that money, and money can be the root of downfalls. He soon became very involved in the school life & student life… gaining various positions such as dean of the students hostel, leader of xyz club, etc, and soon, he gained tenureship – 15000 rupees/month salary – gov’t job. Whoa! Again – what do to do with all this money!? He set-up various scholarships for the students and spent the money on various social projects, as well.

As he stepped back and took time to think about thing… he saw that the life at the monastery wasn’t very different from the rat-race of the corporate life – there was competition at every level, schmoozing, politics, etc. Eveytime he would try to change something, he was met w/ resistance. Finally, he had enough… he resigned and left w/ a bas taste in his mouth.

Again, what next? He feels that he probably should have gone home to think things over, etc. However, he was at the point in his relationship w/ his parents where he didn’t feel like he could go home. They didn’t really know nor understand who he was… and, in reality, he didn’t really know either. Often, he had been told… that if you’re not happy… then study some more. So, then he went to Pune to study Sanskrit & linguistics. And after a year or two, he completed it.

Again.. what next? He got a call from the Monastery… asking him if he knew of anyone that could teach English, as they still hadn’t adequately filled his vacancy. He thought about it, and said, “yeah.. me.” But, this time, he went in w/ a different mindset – he wouldn’t get involved in the life on campus, he would live off campus, and he was just doing it for the livelihood. So, he went back.. while he was teaching.. he also started an ashram near the there with some of his colleages and friends (www.vidhyaashram.com).

There was a teachers’ training workshop at SIDH a couple of years ago… and Tenzin attended this training. Here was once again introduced to thos involved with Jeevan vidya… but, this time… he was really impressed by what they had to say, and by the people themselves… Ransinhgji, Ganeshji, Pawanji, etc… He saw the assurance and clarity w/ which they spoke, and they seemed to have answers to all his questions and everything seemed logical, and made sense. At that point, his curiosity and interest in JV grea – over the last couple years, he has done a couple of JV shibhirs and has started to study the proposal and check it through his experience, in depth. And, for the first time… he feels that he has discovered something of value. Before, people on the streets wuld often stop him and ask him, “Please, tell me something.” Basically.. walking around in a monk’s rover, this is what happens sometimes, and people expect Tenzin to give them some words of advice on what they should do w/ their life. Before, he would never really have anything tot ell them. Now, though, he says, he is able to confidently and with ease, answer their questions…

He continues to work at the monastery, but says in one year time that he is going to leave & then pursue only work that is consistent with his pursuit of understanding Reality, understanding Truth.

Here at SIDH

To learn more about SIDH… visit their website at www.sidhsri.com. The website isn’t completely updated, but it’s good.

So, why is this the perfect situation for me?

1) I want to clarify my thoughts on education, on what education should be, and that basically has been SIDH’s goal for the last 15 years.

2) I don’t just want the theoretical, but I want to see the real thing. SIDH runs schools – the real thing.

3) I want to be involved in the process of making new, big ideas into reality. Pawanji has already told me that if I’m serious… we can start formulating our ideas of what education should be (methods and content), and aim at opening a completely independent school in 5 years. (currently all the SIDH schools still take the board exams, so they still have to teach toward those… because they have to consider the villagers desires, as well).

4) I’m on a similar wavelength, thought-wise, with Pawanji and Didi. They say that over the years, their 3 biggest influences on their thinking have been Swadhyay, Vipassana, and Jeevan Vidya.

5) I’m in a GORGEOUS setting, up in the mountains with nature, with not many of the distractions of city-life. I can wake up early and do pranayam, yoga/exercise, meditate, wash my clothes, sweep my room… all those little things. I can find time to read. I still have my Ipod that I listen to, and they do have a TV if I so desire to watch… like a little of the India-England match.

6) The teachers at the school are btwn. the ages of 25-30, so I am surrounded with people my age.

7) Just a couple days ago, an American, Jay Davidson, came in. He’s from San Francisco and is a retired teacher. So, now, whenever I have the urge to speak American English… I got a partner. It’s also interesting to hear all his insights on teaching, education, etc. as he taught for 30-35 years.

8) There are a lot of different things that I’m already getting involved in – I took classes today in 6^th, 7^th, and 8^th, and will be taking them for the next 2 days… substitute teacher. It’s an English class… but still a Hindi-medium school. My Hindi’s definitely getting better though… but, again… this being my first times in front of a classroom, it’s tough. I’m also a translator here… now that Jay’s here. I am also a Hindi teacher for Jay, and an English teacher for all the SIDH staff. I am also the videographer for the upcoming “Herbal and Natural Medicine Workshop for Local Women”. Etc.. so, there are definitely things that I can do day-to-day around here… while I observe, learn, experience, discuss, formulate, etc.

The Family Trip

So, I don’t really know where to start. First, thanks Amir… the first “guest-blogger” to actually come through with a blog! I’ve had many flakers so far… I won’t name names (Prach, Biggie, Neilu, Sagu, P-money, Shivu…)… well, at least I didn’t use any of their real names. It is never too late, though. Years from now, I’ll read this blog to reminisce about this journey to India… but I’ll have 2 gaping holes… so... no guilt trip… =P

Back to.. where shall I start? Amir did a good job of summarizing our “family trip”. I think we all had a blast.. seeing a variety of different sites and travelling in a multitude of manners. =)

For me, it was interesting… because I felt like I was gaining momentum, I had just finished the Jeevan Vidya shibhir, and met Babaji in Amarkantak…. I had talked to Pawanji and Anuradhaji (founders of SIDH) in Amarkantak about coming to SIDH and what are the different possibilities there, what’s going on, etc. So, it seemed like the ball was rolling.

On the long journey back from Amarkantak to Mumbai [bus, which broke down, waited an hour, took a rikshaw, to a train station in Bilaspur, night train to Nagpur (in general class – sitting on wooden benches with people ALL around us), where we spent the day with a friend named Alok, and then took a night-train to Mumbai (at least it was sleeper class) – this was the quickest route back that we found…], I was getting really excited about my family coming out here. The things I miss the most out here are my family and my friends. So, having family out here was definitely exciting. Also, I knew that my parents would come out here and really challenge me, and ask the tough questions. As much as I hate to hear them sometimes, I know they’re good for me… because they make me think everything through. On the train, I even prepared myself for questions that I thought my mom would ask me: 1) How long do you plan on staying out here? 2) When are you going to get married? 3) What org. are you going to stay at now? 4) What about your career? And, so… I prepared myself. Welll…. I prepared myself for the tough questions… but I forgot about all the little things – Cut your hair. Shave. Get new clothes. Eat more. Drink milk. Etc. Trying to explain these things was a little more difficult… as, basically, the general response from my family and relatives was something like – how are you going to find a girl dressed like that, with your hair like that?

So, first couple weeks with mom was pretty good… we did the Ramdevji (Yoga and pranayam) shibhir… and so now I have some yoga asanas, and various pranayams (breathing exercises – best translation) in my repertoire. Then, the whole family came in… dad, sister, and bro-in-law. It was definitely exciting to show Amir the ropes on his first trip to India! And… going to Ahmedabad with Ami and just seeing how everyone at Manav Sadhna adores here was awesome!

And then we started our whirlwind tour of Jaisalmer, Jaipur, Amritsar, Matheran (then Ami-Amir left), Haridwar, Rishikesh, Mussoorie, Kempty (SIDH). I enjoy doing the touristy things… but now that I’ve been out for a while, I much prefer staying in one place at least for a few days, and getting to know people in the community, etc. This trip was just so fast for me… and by the end, I felt like my momentum was gone. Well.. I had this fear that I lost my momentum… and because of this fear… my view of “family trip” was a bit skewed. But, in the moment… I enjoyed every minute of every place we went… I give mad props to everyone in the family for spending TWO nights on the train in Sleeper class (2^nd class, non-AC)… and really, everyone was in a good mood and having fun almost the entire time!

But, when we got back to Mumbai… and I wasn’t in the same “state of mind” as I was a month ago… I was a bit afraid. During the trip, I rarely talked about my experiences out here so far… and my state-of-mind… my thoughts…. etc… so, they seemed so far away.

Then, my sister and Amir left… and the parents and I headed to Rishikesh, via Delhi. I knew that the final destination was SIDH… but, still.. I just felt I wasn’t in the right state-of-mind to start my time here at SIDH, exploring “education”, and focusing on my own “holistic development”. And, again, it was just a quick trip… one night in Haridwar, one night in Rishikesh and one night in Mussoorie. One of the turning points was sitting on the banks of the Ganga for the Aarti in Rishikesh at Paramarth Niketan with my parents. About 5 months ago, Sampat and I sat in the same spot, and during the Aarti, then… I had my first just “light” feeling during my trip. And this time, with my parents, I got that same feeling. I asked my mom, what lesson does the river give? She said – the river is always flowing, and because it is flowing it stays pure and clean. In the same manner, we have to keep the flow of good thoughts flowing… so we can stay pure, as well. My mom asked me what lesson I got from the river… and I didn’t tell her then (because she’s already afraid of me becoming a sadhu)… but the lesson I got, at that moment – “The river has its goal – the ever-expansive ocean. And, no matter what obstacle comes in its path, it’s going to reach its goal. But, that’s not all. The river has a certain way of dealing with its obstacles (huge boulders in its path, mountains, etc.) – it doesn’t confront and destroy them right away… but it withers away at them… slowly, persistently, patiently, but with a quiet determination… Years later… the boulder that was once in river’s path, has now eroded away… and has become a part of the river itself.”

The next day, we headed to Mussoorie, and Kempty (the village where SIDH is located)… my mom was a little afraid as its up in the mountains, and the roads aren’t the best… but we made it. They met some of the people here and saw their “bhav” (rough translation – emotion, love), and knew it’d be a good place for me. That night, we were eating at a restaurant… and I threw a quick little tantrum with my parents… “It makes it so hard for me out here.. because I feel that you don’t support me. You don’t even try to understand my life out here, etc.” It was completely uncalled for. More than anything… I was having doubts at that point… what am I doing here? Have I gotten anything out of this trip? Where is my life going? And because of these doubts… I lashed out. And, I’ve seen that usually whenever I have any ill will to anyone else… whenever I’m angry… whenever I “lash out”…. usually… it’s not because of anything external… but it’s because of something within… it’s because I’m in an agitated state for some reason. It may be sparked by something external… but the real cause.. is within.

The next morning… my parents left at about 7 am… I said bye to them, and went back to sleep… woke up around 8:30 am… That morning… it was strange… I just felt so afraid, so alone. I don’t really know why… I mean, I’ve traveled India, mostly with Sampat… but towards the end, I’ve been “alone” as well.

At around 9:30… Pawanji and Anuradha Didi picked me up to take me to the SIDH center in Kempty… starting from the conversation with them in the car, and everything that has happened since then… I feel like there’s nothing that can be more ideal for me right now than the situation I’m in.