Tenzin-ji

So, the same day I arrived at SIDH with my parents, this man by the name of Tenzin Rigzin also arrived. On first appearance, he looked like a Buddhist monk – wore red robes, seemed a bit to himself. I love getting to know the stories of people like this. Our first night together at SIDH, we had a long chat… and, whatever I remember of his story, I will tell it here:

His dad was in the military and was an engineer. Being in the military, he had to move the family around a lot. Tenzin was actually born in Baroda. They were a well-to-do family, and he went to these English-medium schools… where, basically, the kids were “made to export”. They were trained so they could get the best chance at those overseas jobs… or to study overseas. As Tenzin put it, his path was either an NRI (non-resident Indian) or NIR (non-Indian resident… working for some foreign company in India). As he was growing up, he was really good with electronics and would fix things around the house, and was a bit of a “whiz kid”. After finished school (12^th grade), he actually wanted to go study abroad in the U.S.A…. so, he applied to all the top-notch Ivy-leauge schools. Maybe a little overconfident… he didn’t get into any of them. He was shocked a bit at the rejections, and thought, “Next time, I’ll be in a situation where they can’t reject me.

As he was studying in 10^th, 11^th, 12^th… he saw how things were getting more cut-throat and competitive. Friends would be competing against each other and no one would have just “normal friend” conversations – everything was about math or exams, etc. All of this didn’t sit too well with him, as he saw all the back-stabbing, cheating, etc. involved. To go into engineering or science fields.. it’s really competitive out here. He decided that he didn’t want to study Engineering, like everyone expected him to. Instead, he wanted to study English.. Literature. He calls this the biggest bomb that he laid on his parents… because they were so sure that their little whiz kid would become an engineer, get a good job, make a lot of money.. and maybe even get the chance to go overseas! There ended up being a lot of tension and disappointment in the house. As his parents, they still supported him financially, during his studies.

So, he went to Delhi University, and was doing really well in school. His parents saw that he was doing really well… and got new aspirations… now, he could get a good gov’t. job with the civil service and be settled, and secure, etc. After finishing his B.A., he went on to get his M.A. at Jawarhal Nehru University… a top-notch school in Delhi that basically runs along the same lines as an American university… with more choices for the student, etc. There was a point that he was feeling guilty about using his parents’ money for his education… but he justified it to himself… only a couple more years, it’s okay. During these college years… he began getting used to living a very expensive and extravagant lifestyle. As he neared graduation, he began to worry about finding a job that would support his lifestyle.

He started working two jobs in Delhi – an editorial job, and some other job… but, even so, he couldn’t maintain his lifestyle. He decided to go back home to Hyderabad, where he found a marketing job, and, from his parents, he now received this new found respect from because he was an “earning man”. He was making a good amt. Of money, and didn’t have to spend on food & lodging because he ws living at home. But, he was also working long hours, 7 days a week, and didn’t even have time to spend the money that he was earning. Soon… things started to get to him again. Honesty has always been his knack… and he saw all the lies and dishonesty in the workplace. He’d be telling 10 lies a day, schmoozing w/ the boss, screening phone calls, etc.. just to get ahead… and he started seeing the reality of the whole “rat-race”. Previously, he had received a fellowship to continue his studies at IIT Delhi, so, at this time, he decided to leave his job and continue his studies. Tenzin wanted that extra time to ask the “whys” – time to reflect on what he was doing, why he was doing it, etc… and he never really saw the time nor the space to do this while working.

At IIT Delhi, he had this professor that would connect Gandhian thinking and spirituality w/ engineering topics… and this shook Tenzin up. – “What do these things have to do with science?” Tenzin grew up in an a-religious family, and since he was a child, he claimed that he was an atheist and was proud of it. He believed that spirituality, religion, and “all that” were for those that weren’t rational, that didn’t think clearly, that were confused and superstitious. But here.. he saw this professor that was confident, brillian, and definitely clear-minded… yet, he called himself a neo-Gandhian and connected spirituality with engineering? Along with this professor, Tenzin was also introduced to many strong personalities who were doing work outside the “system”, people that really seemed to be doing something of value with their life, and weren’t caught up in the “rat race”. He met these people through various clubs and orgs. on campus. While at IIT, he first was introduced to Jeevan Vidya… but at that point, he wasn’t ready to listen, as he just saw them as another club on campus. He didn’t pay much attention to them… but, overall, his interest in spirituality grew. He started reading various books that were in the IIT library. Partly because there were many books on Buddhism in the library & partly because Buddhism appeals to the rational mind, he started getting interested in it.

Through a club on campus, he got the chance to live for one month in a Tibetan Buddhist monastery in Dharamsala (where the Dalai Lama stays). As he was living there, he thought… “wow, this monastic life is pretty cool. It’s nott too strict, you can leave the monastery & do things for society… and you can focus on studies and have time to think at the monastery, etc.” He soon made up his mind to become a monk, and was ordained by the Dalai Lama into the order as a Tibetan Buddhist monk.

Even after becoming a monk… he was at the point of “what next?” He met a man (whose name I forgot…) that was an activist and, at the time, leading a “tree-huggers” movement to save forests from getting cut down. He was also involved in protesting the building of the Tehri Dam (see …). When Tenzin visited this site, he got involved in the protest movement as well… and ended up staying there for one year. He got caught up in it.. but, in the end, realized that this life of protests and all wasn’t for him. But, it was a good experience… the area was a very “tribal” area… he had to learn how to tough it out in the jungle.. no running water, no electricity, etc…. this was a far cry from his extravagant living style he enjoyed during his college days.

After this episode, again.. what next? He had heard of a large monastery just 10 k away from Benares. He decided to go check it out. At this point, he was living a very simple life-style and had only 3000 rps. In his bank account. He stayed at the guest house of this monastery for about a week… and started to worry a bit – “what now? These people aren’t going to let me stay in the guest-house forever.” He saw that the school needed an English and a computers teacher… so he went to the “principal” and told him his situation – “I have very little money… I can teach English or Computers, and in return all I would need is a room to stay in.” After a couple days, he got a letter saying that he was appointed as a temporary teacher and was to receive a 1700 rupee monthly salary. At this point – this was a huge sum of money to him, because he was used to living a very simple life. He didn’t know what to do w/ all the money. He didn’t believe in saving money… as who knows what nefarious things the bank is doing with that money, and money can be the root of downfalls. He soon became very involved in the school life & student life… gaining various positions such as dean of the students hostel, leader of xyz club, etc, and soon, he gained tenureship – 15000 rupees/month salary – gov’t job. Whoa! Again – what do to do with all this money!? He set-up various scholarships for the students and spent the money on various social projects, as well.

As he stepped back and took time to think about thing… he saw that the life at the monastery wasn’t very different from the rat-race of the corporate life – there was competition at every level, schmoozing, politics, etc. Eveytime he would try to change something, he was met w/ resistance. Finally, he had enough… he resigned and left w/ a bas taste in his mouth.

Again, what next? He feels that he probably should have gone home to think things over, etc. However, he was at the point in his relationship w/ his parents where he didn’t feel like he could go home. They didn’t really know nor understand who he was… and, in reality, he didn’t really know either. Often, he had been told… that if you’re not happy… then study some more. So, then he went to Pune to study Sanskrit & linguistics. And after a year or two, he completed it.

Again.. what next? He got a call from the Monastery… asking him if he knew of anyone that could teach English, as they still hadn’t adequately filled his vacancy. He thought about it, and said, “yeah.. me.” But, this time, he went in w/ a different mindset – he wouldn’t get involved in the life on campus, he would live off campus, and he was just doing it for the livelihood. So, he went back.. while he was teaching.. he also started an ashram near the there with some of his colleages and friends (www.vidhyaashram.com).

There was a teachers’ training workshop at SIDH a couple of years ago… and Tenzin attended this training. Here was once again introduced to thos involved with Jeevan vidya… but, this time… he was really impressed by what they had to say, and by the people themselves… Ransinhgji, Ganeshji, Pawanji, etc… He saw the assurance and clarity w/ which they spoke, and they seemed to have answers to all his questions and everything seemed logical, and made sense. At that point, his curiosity and interest in JV grea – over the last couple years, he has done a couple of JV shibhirs and has started to study the proposal and check it through his experience, in depth. And, for the first time… he feels that he has discovered something of value. Before, people on the streets wuld often stop him and ask him, “Please, tell me something.” Basically.. walking around in a monk’s rover, this is what happens sometimes, and people expect Tenzin to give them some words of advice on what they should do w/ their life. Before, he would never really have anything tot ell them. Now, though, he says, he is able to confidently and with ease, answer their questions…

He continues to work at the monastery, but says in one year time that he is going to leave & then pursue only work that is consistent with his pursuit of understanding Reality, understanding Truth.