Communication
Words vs. Meanings
A very important distinction to make whenever listening to another person (or reading their blog) is between words and meanings. When the speaker is using "words"... he/she is trying to convey a meaning... and the goal of a dialogue... the goal of communication is to really try to get to the "meaning" of the speaker. Sometimes, the problem arises that different people use the same words and mean different things by it. A lot of times, disagreement arises between two people who are trying to convey the same meaning, but are using different words. So basically, this is the goal:
Speaker has M1 (meaning) and uses W1 (word) to convey it. Listener usually will hear W1... and communication/sharing has only occurred if the listener derives M1 our of W1... and doesn't come up with M2.
Without this... there is no dialogue.. no communcation. I have seen that many times... I'm not really trying to get at the meaning of the person that is talking to me. I'm just listening to his/her words and impressing my own meaning on to it. This isn't sharing.
Understanding vs. Agreement
To understand what meaning a person is trying to convey is the first, very important step. With all our efforts, we must try to do this without being clouded by our assumptions, beliefs, conditioings. Many times, we will agree or disagree with a speaker before we even really understand what he/she is REALLY saying. After ensuring that M1 has transferred from the speaker to the listener... then only can one really agree or disagree with another person's idea...
A very important distinction to make whenever listening to another person (or reading their blog) is between words and meanings. When the speaker is using "words"... he/she is trying to convey a meaning... and the goal of a dialogue... the goal of communication is to really try to get to the "meaning" of the speaker. Sometimes, the problem arises that different people use the same words and mean different things by it. A lot of times, disagreement arises between two people who are trying to convey the same meaning, but are using different words. So basically, this is the goal:
Speaker has M1 (meaning) and uses W1 (word) to convey it. Listener usually will hear W1... and communication/sharing has only occurred if the listener derives M1 our of W1... and doesn't come up with M2.
Without this... there is no dialogue.. no communcation. I have seen that many times... I'm not really trying to get at the meaning of the person that is talking to me. I'm just listening to his/her words and impressing my own meaning on to it. This isn't sharing.
Understanding vs. Agreement
To understand what meaning a person is trying to convey is the first, very important step. With all our efforts, we must try to do this without being clouded by our assumptions, beliefs, conditioings. Many times, we will agree or disagree with a speaker before we even really understand what he/she is REALLY saying. After ensuring that M1 has transferred from the speaker to the listener... then only can one really agree or disagree with another person's idea...
posted by Raj Kanani | 12:24 AM
4 Comments:
A good breakdown of communication and the possibilties of misunderstanding someone. Applicable in any type of relationship...
Good breakdown of communication and the common misunderstandings that occur in any type of a relationship.
Good thoughts. It happens a lot of times with me too. You say something and out comes the word "No" from the listener. And then, since you expected a different reaction (because you know that person) you begin to see how the words spoken actually got received. Its a challenge then actually to try to convey in a way, that the listener first understands what you said and then gives his judgement. Its true, same words mean different things to people.
I feel its still easier to be a listener if you really want to understand what the other guy is saying.
this is a comment on anonymous's comment:
pls introspect further..
Post a Comment
<< Home