So, a youth camp at SIDH just ended... and basically, this month has left me pretty tired!!! These youths/kids come to the youth camp and they can stay awake till 2/3 and wake up at 6:30/7 because they are only doing it for a few days... then they go back home and sleep for the next 2 days! But this is my daily life here... so it was a little draining... but, overally... quite a blast.
Mridu (first mentioned in the JV blog) was the main person who got all these people together... she has quite the large network out here... kind of like myself back in the states. =) And, although she lives in Delhi, she's been really involved here at SIDH and making these youth workshops a reality, etc.
This last group that came consisted of about 25-30 youths, and they were quite the diverse group. About half were college students from Delhi... involved with a couple different volunteer orgs... Beyond Borders and Pravah. They were quite a group... shows me that it would have been a blast going to college out in India, as well!! There were also 2 from Orissa, Susant and Anindita, who are involved with an NGO called Patang. Then there was Manish who has made gender issues his life passion... And the 3 from Lucknow, who were a mystery coming in, but ended up being a dynamic 3-some. Then, there were the 2 girls from the Sri Ram Ashram, Manjula and Sunita, who are orphans who have grown up at the ashram. Also, there were two youngsters from Delhi who came with Mridu, Sona and Irfan. Mridu's been working with these two along with other kids in Delhi who basically have ran away from home, or are in tough financial situations, or living on the streets, etc. Also, there were two from Kaunpur, 14 and 17 years of age who thought they were just coming for rafting and trekking. =) Overall... quite a diverse group... and that's why it was really awesome when everything really came together...
For me... at the beginning of the camp... I was a little out of whack... because I didn't really know what my role was. I wasn't a participant... but I wasn't really a facilatator, either. I've still had a difficult time of being able to actually be able to organize things and let my voice be heard and followed through. And then, when there's an event being planned, and I'm not the main organiziner, I get a bit of an uneasiness feeling... especially if i see things aren't as planned as they should be, as punctual as they should be, etc. I'm all about planning events!!! I just always have the urge of taking the reins myself. I definitely had a role on the coordinating end... but it was a mish-mosh of things, I couldn't really put my finger on it.
But, I was able to get out of this "uneasiness" as I realized, in the end... it's all about making relationships, and sharing... so, I ended up really enjoying connecting to some people. I was able to open myself up a little bit and have a really quality conversation with Mridu one night, where I was able to tell her bout my feelings of uneasiness, etc. Then, when we went for rafting, and we were sitting on top of the banks of the Yamuna... had a long talk with Samriddhi as she's deciding to go to MBA school or not, and just was able to share my perspective and my views.... Sunita and Manjula, when they first got to SIDH, they were with a couple others from the ashram and one of their guardians. Right away, I knew I recognized them.. Sampat and I had visited the Sri Ram Ashram back in September!! They knew they recognized me, too... it was nice, because both were really shy at first, and to see a recognizable face was very comforting for them. They don't leave the ashram very often, and supposedly Sunita is dealing with depression, so the camp was a good opportunity for both of them to really open up. I was also able to have quality conversations with a bunch of others including Yagna, Vineet, Vinay, Mukesh, Manish, Susant, Api.... And Digant was a walking comedy show, definitely kept me laughing!!!.... and I was able to really kick it and loosen up a little with Urvashi and Ambika. Sometimes, being out in India and not having my close friends around has made me "tense" or a little more "serious"... sometimes, the humour out here doesn't quite homour me... a little dry, at times. =P but Urvashi and Ambika were able to open me up a bit... and just laugh and have a good time.
During the first 2-3 days, Pawan-ji basically took sessions during the entire day. I'm not going to go into content right now. For me... I get anxious just sitting and listening all day, even though if I know the content is valuable.....
After those days... we had 2 days packed with activities! We left at 9 am for a trek to the other side of the valley! We got down to the river at around midday where we bathed in the river for about an hour, and had our packed lunches... then, was the difficult part of the hike... the hike up. Our final destination was the village of Ghati, where Sanjay, a former SIDH teacher has started his own primary school... it's quite the feat.. the school is awesome... he is a local... his understanding of education and all are wonderful... the school's been going for 4 years... and he's only 28 years old!!! Just a great story. Before we reached our final destination... at around 4:30-5 pm.. we reached the village of Takarna... where we all breaked for about 2 hours. It was interesting... because usually, we try to really have guidelines before we bring a group into a village, because people come in with a lot of perceptions and when they act on these perceptions, they can really have a detrimental effect to the locals. This group... I feel has a lot of "leader" types, and when they went into village, a few of them felt like, "okay, we're here to do something... or help these people"... and they basically started their own "culture program"... telling the locals to sing and dance, putting on a show, etc. It was fun, and no ill intentions... but I definitely felt like there was a sense of superiority. We then got to ghati at around 7:30 pm.. where we soon started chopping vegetables, and making our own dinner!! it was pretty sweet.. even that tired... everyone pitched in to prepare dinner. That night... we had a "Rangarang" night... singing, dancing, jokes, etc... haha, everoyne finally got me up to dance.... which was goood times.... The next morning was the rafting on the Yamuna. With the last youth group.. I didn't go, because they didn't have enough spots... this time, I joined in on the fun. Definitely had a blast... the rapids weren't that rough.... but they weren't bad... had a few opportunities to just jump into the river and go swimming.... and had a great group on the raft with me.
After the shivir, myself, Jagmohan and Jitendra (from SIDH), and Mridu sat down and shared our feedback of the camp. Personally... I was hot and cold. The group dynamics were great... but I feel we just don't have any out-of-othe-box thinking. The ideas of SIDH and Jeevan Vidya are presented in session format, and is split from "fun" activities... when the whole point of "Jeevan Vidya" is to be able to see and understand reality as it is..... what reality is there in a room with one speaker and 30 listeners? Everything in reality is a continuium, and we have a relationship with everything... and we need to be able to understand these relationships... doing so in a session is definitely a positive step... but being able to do it outside those four walls... that's what needs to be practiced. Many times - I just felt that I had no important responsibility, no role... while I was expecting and wanting one. Secondly, I felt I was disagreeing with a lot that was occurring... disagreeing not with the content, but with the means. And... I still don't think that we can completely separate the means and the aim... if the means are pure and right, then the aim will be reached. But in the end, just forming relationships with the people here, and having a good time, and learning a little about myself.... was all quality.
It's also been very nice having Harsh Satya around... and Tenzin... and continuing to build a quality relationship with them. Harsh is from Delhi, an engineering graduate, worked for a while... but didn't really find it meaningful and he has prior connections with Pawan-ji, so decided to come up here. (sounds like a similar story). We've been "room partners" for the last month and a half or so.... and then, there's Tenzin.. who I wrote a long blog entry about earlier.
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