Sandesha Article
I sent this article for UCLA ISU's magazine Sandesha (www.laisu.com). I don't think they will print the whole thing, I just told them to cut whatever they find unimportant or boring. But, I can publish the full for here!!!
Dear Diary,
My head hit the floor, and I lied there, alone, confused, in the dark. It was the 5th morning of the Vipassana mediation camp, a 10-day course teaching the Vipassana meditation technique. All the participants of the camp stay silent for the entire course, meditate about 10 hours per day, and eat only two meals per day.
Every morning at 4:30 am, one of the volunteers came around ringing a bell for everyone to wake up. Our first meditation session was from 5 to 7 am. The 4th morning, my roommate woke up, turned on the light, and left for the session. I stayed in bed, hoping to sleep just a little bit longer. However, the volunteer saw the light in my room, came over, and knocked on the door. I dragged myself out of bed, quickly washed my face, and headed over to the session. I talked to the guru-ji that day, and told him that my morning sessions were going terrible (we were allowed to talk only when asking questions to the guru-ji). I would keep nodding off, and I asked if he had any suggestions. He calmly said, “Well, coe in at 5:45 instead of 5 am.” I’m thinking, “Sweet!” I was expecting some type of technique to keep myself awake or something of that sort.
The next morning at 4:30 am heard the bell ringing again. I’m thinking, “God d*#* that f#*$*@’ bell!” Not really the peaceful thoughts one would normally associate with meditation. Again, my roommate woke up, turned the light on, and left the room. In my hald-asleep state, I heard the volunteer with the ringing bell coming nearer to my room. Horror ran though me…”He’s going to see the light on and knock on the door… I won’t be able to tell him that the guru-ji told me that I could come later… I’ll have to go in to session!”
The next thing I remember was being on the floor. For a while, I was confused and dazed. Then, I started piecing events together. Half asleep, I had rushed out of bed and turned off the light. On my way back to the bed, I hazily remember stumbling and hitting my head softly on the floor. In the pitch dark, I sat there and just observed the state that I was in. And realized that if I continue to hide things in my life, if I continue to try to turn the lights off so other people won’t know what’s going on inside me, then I’m going to end up alone, confused, on the floor, in the dark.
I have realized that breaking down the image that I have created of “Raj” for others is my biggest fear. At the larger scale, I have done things that would absolutely shock the people the know me well. Not even my closest friends knew about me, my cravings, and my unseemly actions. At the smaller scale, I am starting to notice the many little fibs I tell to uphold the image of myself that I have created for others.
Just right now, I was visiting a teacher here because today she fell extremely ill and was taken to the hospital. I sat with her for about 15 minutes, and then I started feeling like I wanted to return, get som work done, read a little, and then go to sleep. However, instead of just being honest, I said that I hadn’t taken my medicine yet, so I needed to go back to my room to take my medicine (although, in reality, I had already taken my medicine). Why did I need to tell this seemingly harmless fib? Something inside me probably said that if I told the truth, her image of me would be affected. She would think that I didn’t care and wasn’t compassionate. There were also two others in the room. This small fib was an attempt to uphold an image. It indicated that I’m not comfortable with myself. It indicates a self-confidence problem. It indicated a gap between who I want to be and who I am.
So, what’s the solution? I think the solution is constant awareness. My understanding and practice of Vipassana, reading and understanding of J. Krishnamurti, and learning and understanding of the jeevan vidya philosophy (which I’ll talk about later) have all led to the focal point of being constantly aware. It’s not easy and definitely requires practice. I would break it down into two directions of being internally aware. Here s where I see the role of Vipassana. It’s a set aside time where I can practice being aware at every moment. Hopefully, this slowly translates into every-day life. There have been times when I’ve felt really lonely out here. In a few of those instants, I’ve attempted to be aware of the loneliness, and observe what that feeling really is. Similarly, there have been times when I’ve had a strong desire, but instead of acting on it, I have been able to become aware of it and observe it. I see a difference between suppressing a desire versus being aware, observing it, and allowing the desire or emotion to naturally pass away. There also have been times when I’ve tried to be aware, but the emotion would just be too strong, and not allow it. It’s been interesting attempting to observe anger, observe loneliness, observe confusion, observe cravings, and try to get a grasp of what these feelings actually are.
Being internally aware, to me, is being aware of my desires, aware when I am telling those lies, aware of my emotions, aware of my thoughts, aware of my conditioned reactions. Since I have sporadically started this practice, I’ve noticed how many things that I do mechanically. Am I really deciding to do things, or are they just conditioned reactions? Eventually, I see this as a process where I can gain greater and greater understanding and natural control of myself – my needs, my desires, my emotions, my thoughts, and my actions.
The second dimension is being externally aware. This includes being aware and observing people (family and friends) close to me, other people in the world, society and its systems (education, government, media, economics, etc.), and nature. It also includes being aware and observing my relation and interactions with all of these components.
I have found this process very difficult because there is always a lens that I am observing through. This lens includes all of my conditioning – the environment of my upbringing, my family, the education system, media, books that I’ve read, movies I’ve watched, my friends, society, etc. Usually, I’m not even aware of this lens. Right now, I’m not sure if the lens can be removed, or if it can only be changed. Krishnamurti discusses that the goal involved deconditioning completely, the dissolution of the lens. Then, on is able to clearly perceive and understand what’s real – internally and externally. Then, one has the clarity to make decisions and act, not react.
Jeevan vidya (JV) is a philosophy that proposes the absolute reality that is, and it is up to individuals to check it through their experiences and understand it. It is called a darshan, which in English, loosely means “to observe and understand things as they are”. The darshan is an understanding of the self (body and “I”), family and friends, society and its systems, nature, and the relations between each of these. Currently, we are all seeking happiness, and try to attain it by living according to our beliefs, which are based on our past conditionings. It seems like no one is reaching the continual, lasting happiness that we are striving for. The claim is that by understanding what is, one is no longer living by beliefs, but is living by knowing. It is proposed that this life then leads to happiness within the self, prosperity amongst family and friends, peace within society, and balance and harmony with nature. It gets to the root of all our problems.
I see “choiceless awareness” (as Krishnamurti terms it) and JV as interrelated. To me, the reality that JV proposes can only be understood if I am able to develop the art of awareness and observation, being able to learn on my own.
Trying to get a clearer understanding of JV has directed a lot of my wanderings over the past few months.
In December, I spent eight days with Ran Singh Arya in his village of Paldi (about 100 km from Delhi) in western Uttar Pradesh.
First, I really enjoy spending time in the villages. All activities seem so much more real, in the sense that what they do is directly linked to fulfilling their necessities, such as getting water from the hand-pump, growing food on their farms, spending time with their family, etc. Work, play, leasuire, family, social life, and religion aren’t put into different life compartments, but are all one. I am not glorifying the villagers, though, because most are also lured by the temptations of “modernity” (although they don’t even really know what that entails). If they had the chance, many would leave their lifestyles to live in cities, drive around in automobiles, watch movies in theatres, and eat at McDonald’s (from what I have seen, men I villages tend to be lured by all this more than women).
Secondly, it was great spending time with Ran Singh-ji. He is one of the many incredible, inspiring personalities that I have met on this journey. After starting a huge farmer’s movement in the 80’s and then being deeply immersed in Vipassana meditation in the early 90’s, for the past 5-10 years he has spent much of his time understanding and living the JV proposal.
In January, I attended a JV workshop in Raipur, Madhya Pradesh. The entire proposal is laid out during the 7-day workshop, along with much discussion and questioning. After the workshop, I found out that there was a function for Babaji’s (who perceived and expounded the darshan) birthday I Amarkantak, which is only 5-6 hours away from Raipur. I saw this as a unique, possibly life-changing opportunity, and ended up spending 4 days in Amarkantak. Although Babaji’s Hindi was a little too complex for me and it wasn’t completely life-changing, it was a great experience being in his presence and meeting so many others who are involved in trying to understand this, as wll. Many of these people are ex-engineers like myself, who were disgruntled with their jobs, felt like they wanted to do something meaningful with their lives, and in their search stumbled upon JV. Others are everyday homemakers, balancing career, family, social life, and “purpose-seeking”. Many are involved in various aspects of the development sector (“social work”) in India as well.
The “development” sector in India is actually a huge, booming field. There are people in this sector because it is a viable career choice financially. However, many people are attempting to do genuine work, as well. I’ve realized that one of the big questions that must be answered is, “How do you really know if you’re helping people, or if you’re just solving one problem, but creating three more?” (This question not only applies to “social work” but to the corporate world, education, religion and much more.)
Towards the en of December, I went to Pondicherry and the Cuddalore District on the Tamil Nadue coast where the tsunami had hit one year ago. I visited an organization called Bless that was doing tsunami relief and rehabilitation (R&R) work. For what I observe, they had good people working for the NGO and their intentions were in the right place. After the tsunami, foreign funding came flooding in for tsunami R&R work. This money could only be used for villages that were affected by the tsunami.
I visited two very similar villages that were side-by-side. In both villages, the people had lived in small mud huts and were in hand-to-mouth conditions. However, one village was affected by the tsunami, while the other was not. The result was that the village affected by the tsunami received so much funding. New cement houses were built, new fiberglass fishing boats were purchased, and a lot of money went into livelihood development, as well. Meanwhile, the neighboring village, due to the fortunate (or unfortunate?) fact that it was not affected by the tsunami, was left in the same condition as before. Now, there is anger, frustration, and animosity in this village. On the other side of the coin, the villagers with the new houses are now expecting more things to be jst handed to them. They have become dependent. Is this development?
I’ve come to the conclusion that any “development” work done must be done at the level of understanding. According to this definition, then development is not only needed in monetarily poor or areas considered “backwards”, but all over the world. With this in mind, I really think education is the best avenue for me to make a difference, not only in others, but in myself as well. Teaching is a two-way process where the teacher is learning just as much as the students. I’ve always had an inclination to education, teaching, youth camps, etc. ever since high school.
So this brings me to where I am today. For the last two months, I have been with this organization called SIDH (www.sidhsri.com), located near Mussoorie in the Himalayas of Uttaranchal Pradesh. I had visited this place earlier in September, and wrote about it in my previous diary entry. It is where I was first introduced to the JV philosophy. The main thing is the people here are genuinely attempting to make education more relevant and holistic. Pawan-ji Gupta and Anuradha-ji Joshi (the founders of the NGO) have been guiding, inspiring, and caring. Their view, that I agree with, is that that education should guide students to living happy and meaningful lives, not just teach them subjects, get them to college, and get them jobs. Education must attempt to draw out the innate desire to learn in each student, not suppress it. It should not be just another form of conditioning that molds students into fitting into a system (i.e. an economic system). At SIDH, I am here to learn about how education should be, and also to help out as a “volunteer”.
I have realized that in the future, I definitely want to be doing work in the field of education. I want to be involved with work ou here in India, possibly with the opening of an alternate school and/or working at grassroots level education. In the States, I want to be involved with formal education, probably teaching, and/or involved in supplementary education (children/youth camps, after school programs, etc.). I’ve gotten to the point where I don’t see money as a barrier. I know my needs and desires, and to fulfill them, I know how much money I need. I’ve been floating around a couple of business ideas, as well, and I’ll see when I have time to develop those. One thing for sure is that my engineering days, and my days working for a private corporation are over.
For those of you that actually made it this far into the entry, it may have been a little dry. You’re probably wondering – come on, he’s in India, what about the diarrhea, the squat toilets, and using water to clean your butt; traveling on trains, buses, and rickshaws; the food, no Taco Bell or Del Taco or In-N-Out, the dirtiness; the poverty; what does he do for fun, girls, parties, going out; doesn’t he miss his friends and family; what about a career? Don’t worry; all of these also play their role. I was lucky enough to have my family visit me during the month of February. It was a challenge to explain to them what I’ve been thinking for the short-term and long-term. A lot of the tangibles are uncertain and that, of course, causes them a little bit of distress. However, I realize that explaining my point-of-view to them is a necessary step for my happiness, and theirs. From time-to-time, I do have strong urges to be with my friends, or to be dancing at a club, or to be taking a long hot shower. For now though, because I feel that I am doing something meaningful, all of these take a back seat. (Actually, till yesterday, the diarrhea was definitely taking a front seat! Squatting THAT many times a day definitely takes a toll on my already bad knees. After a couple weeks of mediocre health, the last 3 or 4 days the stomach has took a turn for the worse. My health was the worse it has been on the trip so far. Reluctantly, I started antibiotics yesterday. Things are better today. The poop system is back to normal.)
If anyone is planning to be out in India in the near future, then please contact me… I’ll be out here until at least July (and possibly until November).
Till next time,
Raj Kanani
rkanani@gmail.com
http://rajkanani.blogspot.com
My wanderings (since the last article):
November
● Diwali – Mumbai, Maharashtra
● Vipassana Camp – Kolhapur, Maharashtra
● Regroup, Reflect, Hang Out with Friends – Ahmedabad, Gujarat
December
● Visit Ran Sing Arya – Paldi, Uttar Pradesh (village near Delhi)
● Two of My Best Friends’ Wedding – Ahmedabad, Gujarat
January
● Aurobindo Ashram, Bless NGO, “Group Honeymoon” with Friends – Pondicherry and Cuddalore, Tamil Nadu
● Jeevan Vidya Shibhir – Raipur, Chattisgarh
● Babaji’s Birthday Program – Amarkantak, Madhya Pradesh
● Time with Family (cousins, parents, sister, brother-in-law) – Mumbai
February
● Travels with Family – Surat, Gujarat – Ahmedabad – Jaisalmer, Rajasthan – Jaipur, Rajasthan – Amritsar, Punjab – Haridwar, Uttaranchal Pradesh – Rishikesh, Uttaranchal Pradesh
March – May
● Time at SIDH – Kempty, Uttaranchal Pradesh (village near Mussoorie)
Dear Diary,
My head hit the floor, and I lied there, alone, confused, in the dark. It was the 5th morning of the Vipassana mediation camp, a 10-day course teaching the Vipassana meditation technique. All the participants of the camp stay silent for the entire course, meditate about 10 hours per day, and eat only two meals per day.
Every morning at 4:30 am, one of the volunteers came around ringing a bell for everyone to wake up. Our first meditation session was from 5 to 7 am. The 4th morning, my roommate woke up, turned on the light, and left for the session. I stayed in bed, hoping to sleep just a little bit longer. However, the volunteer saw the light in my room, came over, and knocked on the door. I dragged myself out of bed, quickly washed my face, and headed over to the session. I talked to the guru-ji that day, and told him that my morning sessions were going terrible (we were allowed to talk only when asking questions to the guru-ji). I would keep nodding off, and I asked if he had any suggestions. He calmly said, “Well, coe in at 5:45 instead of 5 am.” I’m thinking, “Sweet!” I was expecting some type of technique to keep myself awake or something of that sort.
The next morning at 4:30 am heard the bell ringing again. I’m thinking, “God d*#* that f#*$*@’ bell!” Not really the peaceful thoughts one would normally associate with meditation. Again, my roommate woke up, turned the light on, and left the room. In my hald-asleep state, I heard the volunteer with the ringing bell coming nearer to my room. Horror ran though me…”He’s going to see the light on and knock on the door… I won’t be able to tell him that the guru-ji told me that I could come later… I’ll have to go in to session!”
The next thing I remember was being on the floor. For a while, I was confused and dazed. Then, I started piecing events together. Half asleep, I had rushed out of bed and turned off the light. On my way back to the bed, I hazily remember stumbling and hitting my head softly on the floor. In the pitch dark, I sat there and just observed the state that I was in. And realized that if I continue to hide things in my life, if I continue to try to turn the lights off so other people won’t know what’s going on inside me, then I’m going to end up alone, confused, on the floor, in the dark.
I have realized that breaking down the image that I have created of “Raj” for others is my biggest fear. At the larger scale, I have done things that would absolutely shock the people the know me well. Not even my closest friends knew about me, my cravings, and my unseemly actions. At the smaller scale, I am starting to notice the many little fibs I tell to uphold the image of myself that I have created for others.
Just right now, I was visiting a teacher here because today she fell extremely ill and was taken to the hospital. I sat with her for about 15 minutes, and then I started feeling like I wanted to return, get som work done, read a little, and then go to sleep. However, instead of just being honest, I said that I hadn’t taken my medicine yet, so I needed to go back to my room to take my medicine (although, in reality, I had already taken my medicine). Why did I need to tell this seemingly harmless fib? Something inside me probably said that if I told the truth, her image of me would be affected. She would think that I didn’t care and wasn’t compassionate. There were also two others in the room. This small fib was an attempt to uphold an image. It indicated that I’m not comfortable with myself. It indicates a self-confidence problem. It indicated a gap between who I want to be and who I am.
So, what’s the solution? I think the solution is constant awareness. My understanding and practice of Vipassana, reading and understanding of J. Krishnamurti, and learning and understanding of the jeevan vidya philosophy (which I’ll talk about later) have all led to the focal point of being constantly aware. It’s not easy and definitely requires practice. I would break it down into two directions of being internally aware. Here s where I see the role of Vipassana. It’s a set aside time where I can practice being aware at every moment. Hopefully, this slowly translates into every-day life. There have been times when I’ve felt really lonely out here. In a few of those instants, I’ve attempted to be aware of the loneliness, and observe what that feeling really is. Similarly, there have been times when I’ve had a strong desire, but instead of acting on it, I have been able to become aware of it and observe it. I see a difference between suppressing a desire versus being aware, observing it, and allowing the desire or emotion to naturally pass away. There also have been times when I’ve tried to be aware, but the emotion would just be too strong, and not allow it. It’s been interesting attempting to observe anger, observe loneliness, observe confusion, observe cravings, and try to get a grasp of what these feelings actually are.
Being internally aware, to me, is being aware of my desires, aware when I am telling those lies, aware of my emotions, aware of my thoughts, aware of my conditioned reactions. Since I have sporadically started this practice, I’ve noticed how many things that I do mechanically. Am I really deciding to do things, or are they just conditioned reactions? Eventually, I see this as a process where I can gain greater and greater understanding and natural control of myself – my needs, my desires, my emotions, my thoughts, and my actions.
The second dimension is being externally aware. This includes being aware and observing people (family and friends) close to me, other people in the world, society and its systems (education, government, media, economics, etc.), and nature. It also includes being aware and observing my relation and interactions with all of these components.
I have found this process very difficult because there is always a lens that I am observing through. This lens includes all of my conditioning – the environment of my upbringing, my family, the education system, media, books that I’ve read, movies I’ve watched, my friends, society, etc. Usually, I’m not even aware of this lens. Right now, I’m not sure if the lens can be removed, or if it can only be changed. Krishnamurti discusses that the goal involved deconditioning completely, the dissolution of the lens. Then, on is able to clearly perceive and understand what’s real – internally and externally. Then, one has the clarity to make decisions and act, not react.
Jeevan vidya (JV) is a philosophy that proposes the absolute reality that is, and it is up to individuals to check it through their experiences and understand it. It is called a darshan, which in English, loosely means “to observe and understand things as they are”. The darshan is an understanding of the self (body and “I”), family and friends, society and its systems, nature, and the relations between each of these. Currently, we are all seeking happiness, and try to attain it by living according to our beliefs, which are based on our past conditionings. It seems like no one is reaching the continual, lasting happiness that we are striving for. The claim is that by understanding what is, one is no longer living by beliefs, but is living by knowing. It is proposed that this life then leads to happiness within the self, prosperity amongst family and friends, peace within society, and balance and harmony with nature. It gets to the root of all our problems.
I see “choiceless awareness” (as Krishnamurti terms it) and JV as interrelated. To me, the reality that JV proposes can only be understood if I am able to develop the art of awareness and observation, being able to learn on my own.
Trying to get a clearer understanding of JV has directed a lot of my wanderings over the past few months.
In December, I spent eight days with Ran Singh Arya in his village of Paldi (about 100 km from Delhi) in western Uttar Pradesh.
First, I really enjoy spending time in the villages. All activities seem so much more real, in the sense that what they do is directly linked to fulfilling their necessities, such as getting water from the hand-pump, growing food on their farms, spending time with their family, etc. Work, play, leasuire, family, social life, and religion aren’t put into different life compartments, but are all one. I am not glorifying the villagers, though, because most are also lured by the temptations of “modernity” (although they don’t even really know what that entails). If they had the chance, many would leave their lifestyles to live in cities, drive around in automobiles, watch movies in theatres, and eat at McDonald’s (from what I have seen, men I villages tend to be lured by all this more than women).
Secondly, it was great spending time with Ran Singh-ji. He is one of the many incredible, inspiring personalities that I have met on this journey. After starting a huge farmer’s movement in the 80’s and then being deeply immersed in Vipassana meditation in the early 90’s, for the past 5-10 years he has spent much of his time understanding and living the JV proposal.
In January, I attended a JV workshop in Raipur, Madhya Pradesh. The entire proposal is laid out during the 7-day workshop, along with much discussion and questioning. After the workshop, I found out that there was a function for Babaji’s (who perceived and expounded the darshan) birthday I Amarkantak, which is only 5-6 hours away from Raipur. I saw this as a unique, possibly life-changing opportunity, and ended up spending 4 days in Amarkantak. Although Babaji’s Hindi was a little too complex for me and it wasn’t completely life-changing, it was a great experience being in his presence and meeting so many others who are involved in trying to understand this, as wll. Many of these people are ex-engineers like myself, who were disgruntled with their jobs, felt like they wanted to do something meaningful with their lives, and in their search stumbled upon JV. Others are everyday homemakers, balancing career, family, social life, and “purpose-seeking”. Many are involved in various aspects of the development sector (“social work”) in India as well.
The “development” sector in India is actually a huge, booming field. There are people in this sector because it is a viable career choice financially. However, many people are attempting to do genuine work, as well. I’ve realized that one of the big questions that must be answered is, “How do you really know if you’re helping people, or if you’re just solving one problem, but creating three more?” (This question not only applies to “social work” but to the corporate world, education, religion and much more.)
Towards the en of December, I went to Pondicherry and the Cuddalore District on the Tamil Nadue coast where the tsunami had hit one year ago. I visited an organization called Bless that was doing tsunami relief and rehabilitation (R&R) work. For what I observe, they had good people working for the NGO and their intentions were in the right place. After the tsunami, foreign funding came flooding in for tsunami R&R work. This money could only be used for villages that were affected by the tsunami.
I visited two very similar villages that were side-by-side. In both villages, the people had lived in small mud huts and were in hand-to-mouth conditions. However, one village was affected by the tsunami, while the other was not. The result was that the village affected by the tsunami received so much funding. New cement houses were built, new fiberglass fishing boats were purchased, and a lot of money went into livelihood development, as well. Meanwhile, the neighboring village, due to the fortunate (or unfortunate?) fact that it was not affected by the tsunami, was left in the same condition as before. Now, there is anger, frustration, and animosity in this village. On the other side of the coin, the villagers with the new houses are now expecting more things to be jst handed to them. They have become dependent. Is this development?
I’ve come to the conclusion that any “development” work done must be done at the level of understanding. According to this definition, then development is not only needed in monetarily poor or areas considered “backwards”, but all over the world. With this in mind, I really think education is the best avenue for me to make a difference, not only in others, but in myself as well. Teaching is a two-way process where the teacher is learning just as much as the students. I’ve always had an inclination to education, teaching, youth camps, etc. ever since high school.
So this brings me to where I am today. For the last two months, I have been with this organization called SIDH (www.sidhsri.com), located near Mussoorie in the Himalayas of Uttaranchal Pradesh. I had visited this place earlier in September, and wrote about it in my previous diary entry. It is where I was first introduced to the JV philosophy. The main thing is the people here are genuinely attempting to make education more relevant and holistic. Pawan-ji Gupta and Anuradha-ji Joshi (the founders of the NGO) have been guiding, inspiring, and caring. Their view, that I agree with, is that that education should guide students to living happy and meaningful lives, not just teach them subjects, get them to college, and get them jobs. Education must attempt to draw out the innate desire to learn in each student, not suppress it. It should not be just another form of conditioning that molds students into fitting into a system (i.e. an economic system). At SIDH, I am here to learn about how education should be, and also to help out as a “volunteer”.
I have realized that in the future, I definitely want to be doing work in the field of education. I want to be involved with work ou here in India, possibly with the opening of an alternate school and/or working at grassroots level education. In the States, I want to be involved with formal education, probably teaching, and/or involved in supplementary education (children/youth camps, after school programs, etc.). I’ve gotten to the point where I don’t see money as a barrier. I know my needs and desires, and to fulfill them, I know how much money I need. I’ve been floating around a couple of business ideas, as well, and I’ll see when I have time to develop those. One thing for sure is that my engineering days, and my days working for a private corporation are over.
For those of you that actually made it this far into the entry, it may have been a little dry. You’re probably wondering – come on, he’s in India, what about the diarrhea, the squat toilets, and using water to clean your butt; traveling on trains, buses, and rickshaws; the food, no Taco Bell or Del Taco or In-N-Out, the dirtiness; the poverty; what does he do for fun, girls, parties, going out; doesn’t he miss his friends and family; what about a career? Don’t worry; all of these also play their role. I was lucky enough to have my family visit me during the month of February. It was a challenge to explain to them what I’ve been thinking for the short-term and long-term. A lot of the tangibles are uncertain and that, of course, causes them a little bit of distress. However, I realize that explaining my point-of-view to them is a necessary step for my happiness, and theirs. From time-to-time, I do have strong urges to be with my friends, or to be dancing at a club, or to be taking a long hot shower. For now though, because I feel that I am doing something meaningful, all of these take a back seat. (Actually, till yesterday, the diarrhea was definitely taking a front seat! Squatting THAT many times a day definitely takes a toll on my already bad knees. After a couple weeks of mediocre health, the last 3 or 4 days the stomach has took a turn for the worse. My health was the worse it has been on the trip so far. Reluctantly, I started antibiotics yesterday. Things are better today. The poop system is back to normal.)
If anyone is planning to be out in India in the near future, then please contact me… I’ll be out here until at least July (and possibly until November).
Till next time,
Raj Kanani
rkanani@gmail.com
http://rajkanani.blogspot.com
My wanderings (since the last article):
November
● Diwali – Mumbai, Maharashtra
● Vipassana Camp – Kolhapur, Maharashtra
● Regroup, Reflect, Hang Out with Friends – Ahmedabad, Gujarat
December
● Visit Ran Sing Arya – Paldi, Uttar Pradesh (village near Delhi)
● Two of My Best Friends’ Wedding – Ahmedabad, Gujarat
January
● Aurobindo Ashram, Bless NGO, “Group Honeymoon” with Friends – Pondicherry and Cuddalore, Tamil Nadu
● Jeevan Vidya Shibhir – Raipur, Chattisgarh
● Babaji’s Birthday Program – Amarkantak, Madhya Pradesh
● Time with Family (cousins, parents, sister, brother-in-law) – Mumbai
February
● Travels with Family – Surat, Gujarat – Ahmedabad – Jaisalmer, Rajasthan – Jaipur, Rajasthan – Amritsar, Punjab – Haridwar, Uttaranchal Pradesh – Rishikesh, Uttaranchal Pradesh
March – May
● Time at SIDH – Kempty, Uttaranchal Pradesh (village near Mussoorie)
posted by Raj Kanani | 10:19 PM
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